Miss U
December 31st, 2008 by Logan
Tags: death, meme, paul reiser
Posted in Lulz | No Comments »
25 Gentlemanly Rules
December 13th, 2008 by travis
Rich Retyi, Ypsilanti gentleman and friend of the blog came up with a set of twenty-five guidelines of Ypsilanti Gentlemanism. While these rules may not all apply to you, they can be used as a barometer to measure your own gentleman-ness. Feel free to leave your own Gentlemen’s rules in the comments section, as this list can, and always should be evolving.
A gentleman knows what socks go with what outfits and never to wear knickers.
A gentleman brushes his teeth.
A gentleman knows how to drive in the snow.
A gentleman knows that you begin with the fork farthest from the table setting and that mercy is for the weak.
A gentleman talks the talk and walks the walk.
A gentleman always towels off the elliptical trainer when he is done working out.
A gentleman has a credit card that earns him valuable points for each purchase.
A gentleman knows how to score on a sweet wrap-around in NHL 94 on the Sega Genesis system.
A gentleman never orders for a woman at a restaurant.
A gentleman knows how to ride one of those old fashioned bicycles with the one giant wheel and the one small wheel (officially called a high-wheel or penny-farthing bicycle).
A gentleman never curses in front of his grandmother.
A gentleman always rings twice.
A gentleman has the number of a good tailor and a good abortion doctor handy at all times.
A gentleman is well-versed in the Marquess of Queensbury rules.
A gentleman can deliver a crushing bodycheck and blow past an offensive lineman to sack a quarterback.
A gentleman does not have an “It’s Fuckin’ Time” playlist on his iPod. He does have a sweet 80s mix playlist though.
A gentleman never goes to a fortune teller. He makes his own fortune.
A gentleman has seen Cool Hand Luke, Raiders of the Lost Ark and at least one Tom Hanks romantic comedy. Turner and Hooch does not count.
A gentleman belongs to at least one Fight Club.
A gentleman knows that soccer is football, football is gridiron and cricket is gay.
A gentleman knows the best meats and cheeses to put on sandwiches.
A gentleman fills out all the divorce papers to the best of his knowledge and pays for all the mailing fees.
A gentleman knows at least one dinosaur joke to tell the kiddies.
A gentleman is prepared for the rapture. And a zombie uprising
A gentleman at least tries to grow a mustache. If this is a failed venture, the face should remain clean shaven. No one appreciates a trash ’stache.
Tags: gentlemen, how-to, mustache, rules
Posted in General Interest | 3 Comments »
Pavement - And Then
October 20th, 2008 by Logan
Welcome to the first in a series of YGC-approved song downloads. We’re kicking off this epic series (see all the zeros?) with a classic song from a classic band — And Then by Pavement. This was only ever released as a vinyl-only b-side, but was a live staple for some time. Eventually the song was neutered and became The Hexx on Terror Twilight. Matador is getting ready to release the deluxxe version of Brighten the Corners, and this song makes a couple appearances. I suggest going to buyearlygetnow.com and pre-ordering your copy — the first few people to do so get a vinyl copy of the oft-rumored Live album for free!
Tags: mp3, pavement
Posted in YGCMP3 Series | No Comments »
Dragon Joose
October 17th, 2008 by travis
I planned on writing a long, possibly eloquent review of one of my favorite new beverages. Instead, I bought DRAGON JOOSE, which, as gravity stole Christopher Reeve’s ability to move, stole my ability to write. At all. Here, in full, is the ‘review’ I was able to hammer out while under the influence of this sicklingly sour/sweet brew:
You want to get drunk but have an insane craving for Sour Skittles. You can’t afford both. DRAGON JOOSE has you covered.
In the interest of public information, I’ve compiled a list of pros and cons pertaining to DRAGON JOOSE.
Pros
- 9.9% ABV
- Tastes like apple cider despite being purple
- Looks more like an energy drink than most other caffeine/alcohol beverages
Cons
- Will keep you up all night
- Tastes like apple cider despite being purple
- You may be asked to pledge a fraternity if seen drinking DRAGON JOOSE by the right (wrong) people
There you have it; drink at your own peril. That small part of you that loves being hungover will thank you in the morning. I was going to make a list of new slogans for this stuff, but the makers of JOOSE have that pretty well covered. I’ll leave you with one example that they haven’t thought of yet:
DO weeze the JOOSE.
www.drinkjoose.com
Tags: Booze, Caffeine, Confusion, Dragon Joose, Hangover, Joose, Skittles
Posted in Reviews | 1 Comment »
Dear Gentlemen
October 16th, 2008 by Logan
The brand new Ypsilanti Gentlemen’s Club (2.0) is open for business. I’m going to keep working on the code for awhile, but I think right now we have a stable enough platform to start populating. Email or leave a comment if you notice anything not working (and yeah, I’m already aware of how strange individual entries look right now. I’m on it).
Tags: business
Posted in Internal Affairs | 1 Comment »
Hello Erf!
October 3rd, 2008 by Logan
YpsilantiGentlemensClub.com is different! Wha? More soon…
Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments »